Learning to Love again
by TintAngel
Summary: A year after the war, Fuuma and Subaru accidently meet one night. A night that Subaru desperately tried to forget but Fuuma isn't planning to leave Subaru alone anytime soon... F/S
1. Prologue

**Summary: **A Fuuma & Subaru fan-fiction.

Subaru Sakurazukamori _does not_ feel. One night with Fuuma, does not change that fact. That one night meant nothing. Yet, when Fuuma begins to strip away his defences, Subaru find himself feeling – No. He _does not_ feel anything…Right?

**Prologue**

"Happy New Years!"

Cheers of happiness echoed across the lively city of Tokyo, as the New Year was upon them. It was the year 2001 and what a joyous start it was. The streets were filled with drunken women and men celebrating loudly and boastfully. The men were shamelessly groping the women; who did nothing but giggle themselves silly.

There are some who would consider the behaviour inappropriate but why can't people behave in this trifling manner? Why can they not celebrate, especially after what human civilisation been through?

The past year went smoothly and peacefully – having no earthquakes or great disasters at all. The people of Tokyo had band together and help rebuild the city back to its former glory, after the disastrous year of 1999. Through they did not know it; during 1999 they almost came close to extinction.

But in all this hustle and bustle, there were those who desired the silence. Through peace could not be found in this vigorous city but only in the darkest slums of the red district lights.

As impossible as it sounds, this is where our story starts.

Subaru rolled his eyes as he walked down the shady streets. He passed by sex shops, who had bosoming women that were making crude gestures at him and crowded bars, who has drunken wolves whistling and eyed him as if he was a piece of juicy meat.

Subaru did not know where he was going but that didn't mean he doesn't know what he _wants._ He wanted to sit down in a quiet bar where he could have a drink that will make him forget about _everything_.

Subaru was not a Sumeragi anymore. He faked his death during the war and he cast away his former name to become a Sakurazukamori. The last news he heard about the Sumeragi clan was that a new but weaker head was appointed. When Subaru became a Sakurazukamori he noticed that his new life was completely different to his old one.

The biggest difference would be the financial situation.

When he was a Sumeragi he was satisfied living in a one bedroom flat and he would have inherited a small fortune and maybe a few properties. The fortune was not large because the Sumeragi did their jobs because they _wanted to_, not for money.

The Sakurazukamori was the exact opposite. They did it for the _money_ and obviously hiring a Sakurazukamori as an assassin, was not cheap.

As a Sakurazukamori, Subaru found himself living in an extravagant penthouse that had a magnificent view of Tokyo. If he didn't like the penthouse he could have moved in to another property that the Sakurazukamori owned. It seemed that the Sakurazukamori owned many properties in Japan and _other _countries. Since he is the only living Sakurazukamori, he inherited the Sakurazukamori's riches that had built up during the years. Subaru could have lived comfortably on the_ interest_ alone from the vast fortune the Sakurazukamori had stored in the bank.

Beside his suddenly inherited wealth, Subaru also noticed one other difference. As a Sumeragi he did not find himself with free time but as a Sakurazukamori, he found himself with _nothing_ to do.

And there lies the problem.

To fill in time, sometimes he would think about his life. Subaru was not pleased with his situation. Of course, he did not show his dissatisfaction; he always wears a mask and hides his true feeling. He may be rich and could buy anything he wanted but there were times where he caught himself looking out into the empty space and longing for something…_more_.

And every time he gets this feeling he kills it off by going to work.

Of course the Sumeragi and Sakurazukamori jobs were different. Yet, Subaru had no problems being hired to murder people. After all it was for the _good_ of Japan. Yet no matter how hard he tried to act as a Sakurazukamori, cold-hearted and emotionless, he still had these lingering morals. He did not accept jobs in where he would kill innocents or children. He still found himself saving a trapped soul and sending it to the afterlife – jobs he would have done as a Sumeragi.

Then there was times where Subaru thought of the future. The Sakurazukamori tradition is to be killed by the one you loved. Yet could he love someone more then he loved Seishirou?

Could he still feel?

"I need a drink" Subaru muttered angrily breaking away his train of thoughts.

Subaru stopped abruptly and looked around his surrounding.

He spotted an opened staircase that led into a tall building. Above it was a sign that indicated beneath it was a bar. Subaru could not hear any noises coming out and there was no one standing in front of the staircase like other bars.

"Perfect" Subaru almost smiled.

Almost.

Subaru walked up the stairs and found himself in a small tavern. It was a dim lite bar with few people in it. They were scattered cross the room, some were dancing and some were siting down on the tables gulping down their drinks. Subaru saw a lady on the stage singing a mournful song of lost love and at the bar was a bored bartendress cleaning the shot glasses.

Subaru was right.

This was perfect.

Subaru walked up to the bar and sat on one of the stool. The bartendress serving him was shocked to see such a handsome gentleman at her bar. Usually her customers were drunken blobs, eyeing her chest and depressive women, wishing death to their husbands.

"How can I help you Honey?" The bartendress winked flirtatiously. Maybe she'll get lucky tonight.

"I would like a drink"

"What kind?"

Subaru smiled dashingly and pulled out a large note from his wallet, "Surprise me"

"Ok Honey," The bartendress giggled as she took the note and stuff it down her pocket, "I know just the drink!"

As soon as the bartendress turned her back around Subaru's smile disappeared. He rolled his eyes again and thought something nasty about her.

"Idiots, the lot of them."

Subaru blinked in shock and swiftly turned around. He would have usually not pay attention and kept up his façade as a Sakurazukamori but the voice took the words out of his mouth.

When he turned around, Subaru saw a young attractive man who looked like he was in his early twenties. The young man was tall and had a nicely built body. He had jet black hair that was spiked up but unlike for some other men, the hairstyle looked good on him. The young man was wearing a black t-shirt, jeans and dark sunglasses. He could have easily been mistaken for a young model or even an actor but Subaru knew better.

He knew he wasn't even in his twenties and shouldn't even be _near_ this area.

"Kamui!?" Subaru exclaimed shocked at his sudden appearance.

Through he wasn't referring to the Kamui of the Dragons of Heaven. He was referring to Kamui of The Dragon of Earth – Also known as Fuuma Monou.

"Is that shock, I hear in your voice?" Fuuma replied in a teasing tone, taking off his sunglasses, "Oh we can't have that _Sakurazukamori. _You are supposed to be an emotionless assassin."

Subaru gave Fuuma a confused look but he quickly wore his cold mask and recovered from this remark.

"I prefer it if you didn't blurt out my occupation," Subaru narrowed his eyes dangerously, "And for your information, you did_ not_ hear shock in my voice."

"Right" Fuuma winked as he sat down on the stool next to Subaru, "I'll keep your secret Subaru-_kun_."

Subaru winced at the nickname before glaring dagger as Fuuma. Fuuma should have known that the nickname brought painful memories that Subaru did not want to remember and that he did not like being called _Subaru-kun_.

"_Don't ever_," Subaru hissed, "Call me Subaru-kun. That was a nicknamed that died when _he_ died."

"He…?" Fuuma asked in a curious tone, "Who is he?"

"Don't act dumb." Subaru replied, "We all know who _he_ is."

"Well please refresh my memory" Fuuma then added for special effect, "_Subaru-kun_"

Subaru was about to snap at Fuuma but he suddenly realised what Fuuma was doing. For an unknown reason, Fuuma was trying to aggravate him and he was not going to fall for this.

"I am not the naïve fool I was during the war _Kamui_," Subaru turned his head away from Fuuma, "I know what you are doing and I should warn you. I can instantly kill without regret or any emotion for that matter because _I am_ the Sakurazukamori."

There was no reply from Fuuma and Subaru thought that his threat might have worked.

Suddenly Fuuma laughed loudly, amused at Subaru's response.

"Ok I get the idea," Fuuma chuckled. After a moment's thought Fuuma then added, "Through you should drop that cold-hearted act Subaru. You are only just a human."

"Excuse me?" Subaru asked, "What are you talking-"

"Here Honey!" The bartendress called out as she placed a large mug in front of Subaru. "This is a drink of my own creation. I hope you like it."

The bartendress gave Subaru a flirtatious wink and leaned against the counter so that he may get a good view of her chest. That was_ if_ he was looking.

"Wow Subaru-kun," Fuuma raised his eyebrow, "I didn't know you drink"

"Why else would I be in this bar?" Subaru asked snidely, "Or do you not realise that we are in a bar?"

"If you are tying to insult my intelligence, it's not working Subaru-kun" Fuuma commented before asking the bartendress, "Miss, can I have the same drink he is having?"

"Ok," The bartendress stopped trying to get Subaru to perv at her and giggled to herself "Sure thing Honey"

The bartendress skipped off happily. She was serving two adorable men in one night! It must be her lucky night.

Subaru looked at Fuuma curiously before returning to his drink. He would have asked Fuuma why he ordered the same drink as him but something stopped him. He was a Sakurazukamori. He shouldn't be interested in what Fuuma orders or any aspect of his life for that matter.

"Because it looked like a nice drink" Fuuma answered

Subaru froze. How did Fuuma know what he was thinking? Subaru glanced at Fuuma and saw that he had a smug look.

Of course, he can sense wishes. He must have realised it was Subaru's wish to know why he ordered it.

Even through it was an insignificant wish, it was still a wish.

Subaru almost growled. Fuuma was messing with him again. He huffed at Fuuma and began drinking his drink.

The drink was surprisingly delicious. It was easy to drink, like water but thicker and had a smooth buttery taste to it with a hint of honey. It was not a sweet drink and Subaru couldn't taste the alcohol. But that didn't stop him from enjoying it.

"Is it that nice?" Fuuma asked curiously, "You seem to be enjoying that drink."

Subaru ignore Fuuma. He was not going to talk to him anymore.

Fuuma was about to open his mouth when the bartendress placed the exact same drink as Subaru, in front of him.

"Here you are Honey" The bartendress winked as she took her payment from him, "Anything you need just call me"

She left the two men by themselves, to serve another customer.

Fuuma took a sip of his own drink and licked his lips, "This _is_ a delicious drink, isn't it Subaru-kun?"

Subaru remained silent.

"It has such a nice buttery taste to it" Fuuma nodded to himself, "Reminds me of a drink I read from a book. Do you know what drink I am talking about Subaru-kun?"

"…." Again Subaru remained silent and calmly sipped his drink.

"Subaru-kun?" Fuuma asked, "Are you ok? You don't seem to well _Subaru-kun_"

Subaru grimace and gripped his mug tightly in anger.

He was slowly losing it.

Subaru lifted up the mug and began to gulp down his drink. The quicker he finishes his drink the faster he can leave.

"Subaru-kun?" Fuuma repeated, "Subaru-kun? Hello is anyone there? Subaru-kun?"

"Would you stop it" Subaru snapped as he slammed down the mug. He couldn't take it any longer, "Can you please stop calling me Subaru-kun!?"

Fuuma smirked, "Finally you are talking to me. I was about to die of boredom here."

"Well that is not my problem is it!?" Subaru shouted in a un-Sakurazukamori like manner, "Why are you even _here_ annoying the hell out of me!?"

Subaru growled dangerously and was breathing heavily. His seemed a little flush and kept swaying from side to side.

It seemed there was alcohol in the drink and it was affecting him badly.

Looks like Subaru has a low alcohol tolerance.

Fuuma stared at Subaru curiously and gave him a smug smirk. He didn't show any signs of answering Subaru's questions and he wasn't even moving an inch.

"What do you want….?" Subaru hissed, "Why are you here?"

Fuuma thought about the question for a moment. What did he want? Why was he here?

Better question, out of all the people in the bar, why did he come and sit next to Subaru and started to converse with him?

Fuuma looked at Subaru and study him from head to toe.

The year must have been good to him. Subaru looked a lot healthier then he did during the war.

Subaru must have started to look after himself. The reason may be that Subaru didn't want that the Sakurazukamori line to end with his death that was caused by him neglecting his body.

Subaru was not scrawny anymore and he didn't have that sickeningly, pale complexion anymore. He now had a fit yet slim body build and he gained some colour to his skin which brought out a nice, soft complexion to him. Subaru had this alluring and mysterious aura around him which could be one of the perks of becoming a Sakurazukamori. He looked like a charming and sophisticated gentlemen but there was still a touch of feminine to his looks.

A lot of people from both genders would have instantly felt attracted to him. Fuuma knew he was.

With that last thought, realisation came to Fuuma.

Fuuma now knows why he was here. He knows why he was talking to Subaru.

He wanted to have some _fun_.

"Do you want to know what I want?" Fuuma asked as he gazed in to Subaru's eyes and licked his lips suggestively. Subaru felt hypnotised by Fuuma's piercing eyes. He didn't know why but he couldn't break the stare. It felt like that every nerve of his body stopped and that it was getting harder to breathe. Subaru shivered as Fuuma leaned in closer so that he was able to whisper into Subaru's ear. "I want… You"

"…What?" Subaru asked snapping out of his daze and staring at Fuuma in shock, "Me?"

Fuuma smirked mischievously, "Yes you."

"What do you mean?"

Big mistake.

"Like this." Fuuma taking advantage of Subaru's obvious drunken state, hooked his arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Fuuma then leaned down and passionately kissed Subaru on the lips. Subaru froze at Fuuma's fierceness but couldn't help melting into his arms. Subaru moaned softly and closed his eyes letting Fuuma do what he wanted to him. It was such an overwhelming kiss and soon Subaru found himself kissing backing.

He couldn't help it.

Subaru found himself severely disappointed as Fuuma broke away form the kiss.

"Kamui…" Fuuma placed a finger on Subaru's lip.

"Call me Fuuma, Subaru" Fuuma whispered seductively, "Now what do you think?"

"I…I…I…" Subaru stuttered.

How ironic it was that suddenly a wave of dizziness washed over Subaru. Subaru groaned as he clutched his head.

"Subaru-kun?" Fuuma asked worried, "Are you alright?"

"I…I…" Subaru's world was spinning and he was slowly blacking out. Then what seemed like eternity, he suddenly fell into a dark oblivion.

**End of Prologue**

**Author's Note:** How cliché was the ending? To be honest I think Subaru would have an amazingly high alcohol tolerance. Not faint after one drink. (But alas I was too lazy to write more…)

I personally dislike the title of this story. My imagination wasn't working when I wrote the title. Again it is too cliché. I was going to call it Fool's Fortune (I've been reading Shakespeare lately) but I don't think it would have suited the story. For now this story will be called A Twist of Fate, through it will change once I think of a better name.

Well I seem to be losing my touch in Humour so I decided to try something new. It is a general fic with a little bit of Romance, Angst and a touch of Sarcastic humour.

The idea of doing a Fuuma/Subaru fic came to me when I was holiday. I didn't give it much thought until recently, when it kept me up all night (I tend to think alot when i am about to sleep). It was time for me to write about a differnt couple and this couple seemed strangely right. I think this coupling could be very sweet and unique.

As much as I love Seishirou/Subaru, I have to face the truth. Chance are everyone will die in the war, except Subaru and Fuuma. Subaru because he is both a Dragon of Earth and Heaven and Fuuma because I think Clamp love him too much for him to die (I don't know about this fact but ever since Fuuma went Psychotic, everyone fell in love wiht him. XD! Admit it, we all love a badass!). Might as well hook them up. So yes this is the basic 'lets put two guys in a closet and see what happen' fic…Without the closet.

It should be noted that this story was not suppose to come out for a while, so if you like it, you are very lucky (and unlucky...). Next update might be in a couple of month (Thats why you are unlucky. If you are like me, then the wait for a new chapter will kill you). It depends on my mood.

Thanks for the Beta VT!

And if there are any mistakes particularly with the present/past/future tense, it is my fault. Not the beta's because I kind of updated the chapter after it was beta and I didn't bother sending her the new and updated chapter.

That's all I have to say, for now. I would like to thank you all (If you are stilll reading, wow. You probably shouldn't read my a/n because I usually drabble on and on...) for reading this story. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Quick Explanation of Chapters Structure

//Flashback//

_'Thought' _or_ 'Emphasis or exaggeration'_

"Talking"

**xXxXxXx :**My _'fancy'_ line cut.

The first half of the chapter is a flashback which takes place the day before the final battle, which we will assume is the 30th of December. After Flashback its back to the normal timeline, which sets after the Prologue. Thank you.

**xXxXxXx**

**Learning to Love Again**

**Chapter 1**

// _'The Serenity'_ was a mysterious and unknown restaurant. It was situated in the basement of a small building, near Tokyo Tower. Only those who were part of a certain society ventured into the restaurant. In may have been virtually unknown, but The Serenity offered the best cuisine in all of Japan; even though it was a strange fusion of Western and Eastern culture.

At first glance it seemed to be a French restaurant with polished wooden tables and matching chairs but there were many Asian decorations; such as the ink drawings or the yin & yang signs. The food was of western cuisine but with an oriental twist and served with fine silver cutlery with dragon or phoenix designs.

It was a strange place.

Then again, the customers who visited the restaurant might not be what you call 'human' or they would be human but with mystic abilities. Either way; they are definitely not _normal_.

With this in mind it was not strange to see The Sakurazukamori, wearing his signature suit, dining in the corner of the restaurant.

Ignoring the stare he received from the waitress, who he noted was a shy but powerful spirit in the form of a lady, Sakurazukamori Subaru silently ate the meal in front of him. It was a first time experience for him and he wasn't enjoying it. When he was a Sumeragi he did not have the time or reason to eat at a restaurant but as a Sakurazukamori it was deemed important to dine in restaurants.

As Subaru continued to eat, the waitress came to his table and gently placed something on top of it. He looked up and saw a wine glass that was slowly being filled with red wine.

"Château Petrus Red Bordeaux Pomerol, 1959" The waitress said in a calm voice as she poured the red wine, "It was a difficult find in Japan because the popularity of white wine but-" The waitress gave him a small smile, "We have our ways"

"...That is interesting, thank you" Subaru muttered a reply, "But I did not order a glass of wine."

"I know," The waitress gestured to the front of the restaurant. In front of the restaurant was a small bar where customers can pay for their bills or if they desire, to drink at. Sitting at the bar was a man who the waitress was pointing at, "That lovely gentleman ordered the drink for you."

Subaru looked at who the waitress was pointing to, and almost broke his calm composure when he realised who that man was. It was Kamui, The Leader of the Dragons of Earth formerly known as Monou Fuuma.

Fuuma, noticing Subaru was watching him, waved at him. Subaru continued to stare at F in shock. Believing this was an invitation; Fuuma got out of his seat and strode towards Subaru.

"Good evening Sakurazukamori" Fuuma smirked, "Fancy seeing you here."

"Kamui" Subaru bowed down his head, "What are you doing here?"

The waitress let out a soft gasp. Fuuma gave her a sideward glance, before taking a seat and asking her, "Can you bring me a glass too? I would like to try the wine I just bought."

"Y-Y-Yes...Kamui-sama" The waitress bowed deeply before disappearing and getting another wine glass.

"…Kamui-sama?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow, "I did not know that I was respected with the spirit world."

"…You'll be surprised" Subaru replied, refusing to look at him, "It would seem the Dragon of Earth has the support of half the Spirit world."

"How do you know?" Fuuma asked

"I was talking to the owner of this place before I sat down to eat" Subaru admitted, "It is part of the façade of a Sakurazukamori. To be social."

Fuuma nodded to himself, as if he were taking in the information, "Then you can tell us where we are."

"…You don't know?"

"No" Fuuma shrugged, "I was walking towards Tokyo Tower when I felt the sudden urge to walk into this building and into the basement - to this restaurant."

Subaru paused for a moment before he started to explain to Fuuma what The Serenity was.

"The Serenity is a restaurant and bar that has been in Tokyo for over 5 centuries. It is one of the few places that connects to both the Human and Spirit worlds. It is usually filled with curious spirits because from here you can enter the top floors to get a good view of Tokyo. You may even watch humans without stepping into their world."

"Hmmm"

"This place can't be seen by humans - unless they have special abilities. Even then this place is usually ignored. If you are here and you're human, you must be someone very special."

"Ah" Fuuma nodded, "But I still have one more question to ask"

"…And what is that?"

He smirked, "Why aren't you looking at me?"

Subaru stared blankly at the table as he finished his meal and placed his cutlery down. Immediately the waitress came and placed another wine glass. She poured Fuuma the red wine, collected Subaru's finished meal and disappeared, leaving the two behind in a tense silence.

"I don't see the relevance of this conversation"

"No, but it is an interesting question" Fuuma leant back in his chair casually while holding the wine glass in his hand, "But I suppose it should be obvious why you aren't looking at me."

Subaru growled, he knew where this conversation was going and he didn't like it. Maybe it would be a good time to start drinking the wine.

"Maybe it's because I remind you of someone" Fuuma teased, "Someone important to you. Someone you don't want to- no, can not bear to see again. Could it be Sei-"

"Don't say his name" Subaru cut Fuuma off but still refusing to look at him, "I'd appreciate it if we don't talk about him."

"...I won't talk about him then" Fuuma gave him a cruel smile, "If I can call you Subaru-kun"

Subaru froze.

"Well?" Fuuma tilted his head in an innocent manner, "What do you think Subaru-kun?"

"You deserve the title of Kamui" Subaru coolly replied, showing no emotions. "It doesn't matter whether I agree or not does it? You'll still call me that absurd nickname and I'll still see him in you. Nothing will change"

Fuuma stared at him in curiosity. Just as he was about to question Subaru's behaviour-

"I'm sorry sir…" The waitress squeaked. Both of them looked at her, "But-But-But can I interest you into some dessert?"

"Dessert?"

"Yes" the waitress quickly nodded, "It is the Chef's specialty and he insisted you try!"

"It will be our pleasure to try" Fuuma gave a suave smile, "Right Subaru-kun?"

Subaru didn't show any signs of responding.

"I mean _Sakurazukamori_"

Subaru closed his eyes before opening them up again and flashing a smile at the waitress, "I'll be delighted to try the dessert, lovely miss"

The waitress blushed at the comment and nodded, "Of course!"

The waitress disappeared in to the kitchen again, while Subaru continued to smile.

"Happy?" Subaru replied in a cold and deadly tone, while still wearing the smile, "Are you happy Kamui?"

"Impressive" Fuuma nodded, "As expected of the Sakurazukamori. You managed to do a complete 360 turn, from emotionless to extremely happy in less then a second. Just like him"

Subaru's smile faltered a bit, "I thought I said-"

"I know what you said" Fuuma cut Subaru off, "Which reminded me… How did you become the Sakurazukamori?"

"…Excuse me?" Subaru wasn't expecting a question like that

"Well it piped my curiosity. One day you were a Sumeragi next you become a cold-hearted Sakurazukamori. I am interested in how you became so."

"You know how I became a Sakurazukamori." Subaru replied, "You gave me….."

"Did he leave you notes?" Fuuma asked, "Or did the Sakura tree itself guide you"

"…Why should I tell you?"

"Because I am your leader." Fuuma smirked, "And I am curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"I highly doubt you can kill me Subaru" Fuuma winked, "Not while you still see Seishirou in me."

Subaru tightened his grip on the wine glass. "I thought I said-"

"Here is your food, sirs!" The waitress smiled brightly as she put down two plates, "The Chef's specialty"

Fuuma looked at the food, "…Cake?"

On the plate were two small cakes that seemed to be covered in cream and assorted fruit.

"H-H-Hai!" The waitress squeaked, fearing that _The Kamui_ didn't like it, "It's the Chef's specialty. It may not look like much but you won't find any other cake better than this! I swear it!"

Fuuma gave her a smile, "Well, I'll take your word for it"

The waitress gave him a nervous smile, "E-E-Enjoy…" before she quickly disappeared leaving them alone again.

Fuuma looked at Subaru "Did you hear that? The best cake in-"

"I don't like eating sweets" Subaru said as he pushed the plate away from him.

Fuuma frowned, "You should try some."

"I rather not"

"Subaru-kun…"

Subaru froze. That tone that he just used, it sounded like-

"Please….try some. For me Subaru-kun?"

Subaru stared at the food, trying his best not to look at Fuuma.

"You are cruel Kamui." Subaru whispered, "Cruel."

"I am _the_ Kamui"

Subaru didn't comment. He took a fork and scooped a small amount of cake. He then ate it.

"This is a surprise." Fuuma said as he began to eat his meal, "It is a nice cake"

"…I suppose"

"You didn't answer my question before."

"…About?"

"About the Sakurazukamori"

Subaru sighed, "…There is no escaping is there?"

"Not really"

"I'll tell you then," Subaru muttered, "It started one month ago. After I left the mansion I arrived at my home. Inside my apartment there was a letter waiting for me. It was…from him."

"What?"

"Yes, it seemed like he planned this from the beginning. The letter was slightly confusing but it basically says I am the Sakurazukamori since I killed the last one and there is nothing I can do about it. I knew that the Sakurazukamori was only one person so I had no choice but to accept. I followed the instructions that he left behind and that's how I am this today"

"….Well that's vague" Fuuma replied, "What were the instructions?"

"…They weren't important" Subaru shrugged, "Just saying be emotionless but pretend to care in presence of others, eat more, dress nicely, move into his apartment-"

"Move into his apartment…?" Fuuma asked

"Yes."

"Hmmm" Fuuma shrugged, "You are an interesting person Subaru-kun. You must have loved him alot."

Subaru dropped his fork and stared at Fuuma in shock, "Excuse me?"

"Don't deny it Subaru-kun." Fuuma smirked, "I know you loved him. I can see your wish remember?"

Subaru was about to retaliate but stopped, "…You are right. I am sorry. But I do not have those foolish feelings anymore. I am the Sakurazukamori"

Fuuma stared at Subaru. "Subaru-kun. I have one last question"

"I think you asked-"

"What about sex" Fuuma asked bluntly as he leaned closer to Subaru, "Did it say anything about sex?"

"…Excuse me?" Subaru asked loudly, his cheeks slowly turning red, "What kind of question is that!?"

"Are you still allowed to have it" Fuuma smirked, "Because I always thought sex was a form of showing attraction - emotions?"

"Look Kamui" Subaru growled, "This is irrelevant-"

"Answer the question Subaru-kun"

"I don't see-"

"We are all going to die tomorrow" Fuuma looked at Subaru in the eyes, "I think you should just satisfy my curiosity so we can leave and have a good night sleep before the last battle tomorrow Subaru-kun"

Subaru growled, "Well the letter didn't say anything about….those kind of activates."

"Sex" Fuuma gave Subaru a predatory smile, "Well that means you can do it-"

"No"

"…WHAT?"

"Like you said before sex is showing affection, emotions." Subaru sipped his glass, "I am the Sakurazukamori. I do not show any forms of emotions"

"Not even a one-night stand?"

"Kamui, I do not know what kind of society you grew up in but I do not believe in having sex with a stranger"

"…" Fuuma sighed. "You are no fun"

Fuuma looked at Subaru who had finished eating the cake. He noticed Subaru had some cream on his lips and had a sudden urge to wipe it off.

"Subaru," Fuuma reached out and touch Subaru on the lips. He wiped off a bit of cream and then licked his fingers.

"Ka-Ka-Kamui?" Subaru asked shocked at Fuuma's behaviour.

"Yum." Fuuma gave a wolfish grin before standing up.

"…Where are you going?"

"Like I said before, tomorrow is the final battle" Fuuma replied, "I am going to get some sleep. You should too – I have a feeling it will be, quite spectacular."

"…"

"Oh the comment you made on sex." Fuuma winked flirtatiously to Subaru, "I am going to keep that in mind"

With that said Fuuma left a confused Subaru behind.//

**xXxXxXx**

Subaru slowly awoke from his deep slumber as sunlight streamed in from the curtains, brightening up the dim room.

'_Arghhh…'_ Subaru squinted his eyes harder, trying to block out the sunlight. He had a massive headache that doesn't seem to be going away soon and to make matters worst, his body was strangely aching all over.

With his eyes still close, Subaru lay in the bed wondering whether he should move or not. After much thinking he slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by a strange sight.

His reflection.

It seemed on the ceiling there was a large mirror that had a reflection who was giving him the same confused look.

It didn't take him long to realise that he wasn't in his room.

Quickly sitting upright, in a cool manner he began to observe his surroundings.

He seemed to be in a bedroom of sorts. The walls were painted in a horrendous pink colour with red hearts plastered over it. The bed was covered in a red silk blanket and from what Subaru could tell the bed was in a shape of a heart. The room had a small hallway off to the side which he assumed led to the entrance and the bathroom.

With this new information Subaru cursed loudly. He knew where he was. A love motel.

While he was trying to figure out why he was in a love motel of all places, in the back of his mind, Subaru registered that there was a strange scent in the air. It was a familiar scent, a smell that he has grown use to over the year. A smell he'll never forget.

It was the deadly scent of blood.

Somehow the matter of why he was in a love motel didn't matter. Looking frantically for the source of the blood was important now. It was close by, too close. Subaru looked down at the red sheets he was clutching. He couldn't see it before but if he looked closely he could see that there were splatters of blood on it. But that's not the interesting part.

To make matters worst for him, on the red silk there was not only blood but a strange white substance…

'_Oh god'_

Subaru groaned to himself as he buried his face in his hands. In a situation like this, it would be wrong to say _'Killing two birds with one stone'_ but he did. He found the source of the blood and he found out why he was in a love motel. He probably even found out how the blood got there and the answer to all the stated questions is very simple.

Because of sex.

Before he started to panic Subaru took a deep breath and muttered to himself, "Calm down, Subaru. Calm down"

While calming himself down, off in the distance he heard a door opening from the hallway. He turned his head and glared at the person who dares enter the room and was shock to see Fuuma casually walking in the room wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist.

Subaru cursed. Of all the people in the world, it had to be him!

"Morning, Subaru," Fuuma gave Subaru a small smile and leaned on the wall next to the entrance of the hallway, "Did you sleep well?"

"Where am I?" Subaru asked bluntly. He wasn't in the mood for Fuuma's games.

Fuuma thought about it for a moment before answering, with a playful smile, "What if I say my place?"

"I'll reply _'Nice Decoration'_" Subaru said sarcastically.

"Nice decoration?" Fuuma asked amused as he looked around the room "This place? Subaru, it is a monstrosity. I thought the Sakurazukamori had better taste then this"

Subaru wore a grim smile after hearing the word Sakurazukamori; "I was being sarcastic Kamui-"

"Kamui?" Fuuma raised his eyebrow, "That wasn't the name you were screaming out last night"

Subaru twitched. That was uncalled for.

"Well Kamui-"

"Well Subaru-kun" Fuuma bit back knowing that hearing the name would hurt him, "I thought I told you before, to call me Fuuma. It wasn't that hard last night so why is it hard this morning?"

"What happened last night was a mistake." Subaru spat out, his face turning red, "A BIG mistake"

"Why are you defensive about what happened?" Fuuma asked but he knew the answer.

"I am not being so defensive. I am just saying last night I was drunk therefore what we did last night didn't mean a thing"

"Yes but that doesn't change the fact that last night happened," Fuuma smirked. He enjoyed pushing Subaru's button, "Could it be…that you never had sex before?"

"…!?"

"Really?' Fuuma smile gotten wider, "So you are- I mean was a virgin?"

"Shut up" Subaru replied in a deadly tone, "Shut up or I'll wipe that smile off your face. Don't taunt me Fuuma, remember I am the Sakurazukamori"

"….Ah" Fuuma nodded to himself, ignoring Subaru's threats, "That's why."

"…"

"You are a Sakurazukamori. Showing feelings are not acceptable" Fuuma smirked, "We had sex. Isn't sex a form of affection – feeling?"

"..NO!" Subaru shook his head angrily, "What about lust-"

"I clearly remember you saying you wouldn't have sex with a stranger. If it was just lust then you would have sex with a random person"

"It doesn't-"

"After all that hard work your cold-hearted façade of a Sakurazukamori was broken down. How would he react after finding out you couldn't keep up the Sakurazukamori's act?"

Subaru look down pitifully at the bed, letting the word sink in.

He just had sex.

He showed emotions.

He broke his facade of a Sakurazukamori.

He just betrayed-

"I am leaving" Subaru didn't need to hear any of this. He was a brilliant Sakurazukamori and he showed no emotions. Beside Fuuma hit an all time low dragging _him_ into this conversation.

Fuuma was slightly taken back at Subaru's behaviour. He knew that pestering him about sex and connecting it to him showing emotions would annoy Subaru but he didn't realise he would suddenly leave. He didn't want Subaru to leave yet….

"I have to admit you surprised me." Fuuma blurted out then realised his mistake. But he couldn't stop. One side was telling him to but the other was forcing him too – it was the only way to make Subaru realise-

"Shut up" Subaru hissed as he threw his legs off to the side of the bed, his back facing Fuuma.

"Actually that's the reason why we are in this atrocious room. I would have taken you to my apartment but you were so fierce and aggressive…"

"…" _Ignore him, ignore him_-

"Fine" Fuuma said calmly but he couldn't help adding, just to see Subaru's reaction, "Through you should know the whole of Japan could hear your screams"

Subaru felt anger rising up in him. He had to leave this place, away from Fuuma. If he kept pestering him then all his hard work during the past year… The careful tending and work he put into this façade, act, his defence – would be broken.

He saw that his clothes were thrown into a pile carelessly on the floor. Subaru stood up to get them but as he did, the red silk covering his body slipped off him.

Fuuma smirked at the view and let out a low wolf whistle.

Subaru silently dressed himself, blocking Fuuma's voice out.

Fuuma, realising that Subaru wouldn't talk to him anymore, leaned on the wall and sighed to himself. He didn't mean to make Subaru angry. He just wanted to tease him. Yet another part of him could see into his soul and to the anguish that lay deep within it, a burning pain that was hidden by layers and layers of defence. And that part was what forced him to push his buttons, to make Subaru realise what he was doing was killing him. He had to face the truth.

'_But now is not the time'_ Fuuma thought to himself as he looked at Subaru, _'Now is not the time.'_

Fuuma gazed at Subaru and watched him get dressed. It may be the last time he saw Subaru naked like that again. He watched silently as Subaru got dressed and enjoyed the show that was being put on. How he slowly put his shirt on, letting it linger above him before it fell down covering the red bruises over his torso. How his coat seem to slip onto him like silk. How his pants – oh, how Fuuma wanted to rip it all off and take Subaru there and then.

How strange the mind of a teenage boy was.

Making sure he had everything on, Subaru looked around and felt like hitting himself. The only exit was down the hallway and next to the hallway was Fuuma.

'_Calm down.'_ Subaru thought to himself, taking a minute to collect his thought, _'I am the Sakurazukamori. Emotionless assassin. Deadly killer. Perfect. I will not be afraid of a kid… Even if he was Kamui'_

Subaru walk towards the exit and in a tense silence past Fuuma, who was not taking his eyes off the spot where he was getting dressed.

Just as he touched the door, just when he thought he just made it, Subaru heard Fuuma's voice.

"Remember what I said, Subaru," Fuuma said in a low tone, but Subaru could hear every word, "You still show emotions. You aren't that good of an actor. You aren't him. He is-"

"I know I am not him" Subaru interrupted Fuuma, knowing what he would say. He knew because it was something he been, and still was, trying to avoid, "But I am the Sakurazukamori. I may have made a mistake last night and participated in a pointless activity, but I am still the Sakurazukamori. I did not show emotions."

With that said Subaru opened the door and slammed it shut, leaving Fuuma alone in the room. Subaru never saw Fuuma's thoughtful face as he continued to stare at the bed.

**xXxXxXx**

"Good morning Sakurazuka" The lady at the front desk bowed deeply to Subaru as he entered the apartment complex.

"…Morning" Subaru muttered as he walked straight past her and into the elevator. Inside the elevator he got out an electronic card and wiped it in the machine. When it flashed green he pressed the button for the highest floor.

The apartment complex that Subaru currently stayed at was proof of the Sakurazukamori's wealth.

It was the best money can buy.

The apartment complex was a service apartment building and its occupants were usually rich businessmen. Not many people could afford to live in such a grand building and Subaru lived on the top floor.

His penthouse covered the entire top floor of the building. It provided an amazing view of the city and it was close to Ueno Park.

But Subaru didn't care for the view.

He didn't care it was close to the park.

There was only one reason why Subaru stayed in the building.

Him.

He use to live in the very same room.

He use to see that very same view.

He-

Subaru eyes opened as he heard a loud beep. The elevator doors were open, patiently waiting for him to leave. Subaru stood there for a moment before stepping out into his penthouse. The elevator doors closed behind him and he could hear it going down.

Subaru stood in the middle of the penthouse and took a deep breath. Everything was the same as before.

He immediately went to the shower. He had to take a shower. A shower always helped him every time he thought he was going to break-

The water coming out of the showerhead was refreshing. As the water trailed down his naked body, Subaru slowly squeezed out some body wash on his hand and start to scrub his body.

First he started slowly.

The body wash was a popular brand with women. Subaru found it in the apartment when he first came in. He almost threw it in the bin. It was one of those 'jokes' that _he_ thought was funny. But Subaru had to admit it was a nice brand. It was soft on his skin and it had a fruity smell to it.

But right now all Subaru could smell was the blood and the scent of last night's…activities.

'_Nothing happened'_

The scrubbing started becoming rougher and harder. Subaru grimaced as his skin turned red but he didn't stop. It was like he was possessed. He had to clean himself. Get rid of the scent.

//Wet kisses trailed down the neck and onto the chest. Clumsy hands undoing belt buckles. Moans of ecstasy filled the air. //

'_You are a Sakurazukamori. Showing feelings is not acceptable'_

The rubbing became harder as the images continued to appear. Soon Subaru scrubbed the rest of his bodies. He began to notice the small bruises on his body.

// He winced in pain.

"Do you have to do that?"

"I am just marking what's mine"

"I'm not...Mmmmmmm…!"

A predatory grin.

"Not yet."//

'_We had sex. Isn't sex a form of affection – feeling?'_

Subaru paused for a moment as he examined the marks. They were everywhere.

//"Does it feel good?"

"Mmmm…."

"Does it?"

"It feels-"//

The memory ended as Subaru collapsed on to the floor.

"No no no," Subaru shook his head, "It didn't mean anything. It was just one night. One night"

"I am the Sakurazukamori. I don't feel. I don't feel."

"One night."

"I am the Sakurazukamori. I don't feel. It meant nothing to me…"

_//'…Please help me'//_

**End of Chapter 1**

**Author's note:** Anyway….IT'S DONE!

_'Collapse__s on the ground.'_

Its two months late but it's done! I really like this story but it's difficult to write! I have to accept my fate… I am only good at writing crack (No! I don't want to write more crack!)

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am shock that people…like this story? Again thank you. I hope this chapter was worth the wait and sorry for not updating sooner. It seems I still can only update once per a month.

And thanks to my new beta Marsy-chan who I tricked in to editing this chapter. Thank you! If there are any mistakes please tell me. It's probably my fault because I changed a few things after it has been edited.

We have a new name (and I love it) _'Learning to Love, again'_. 'Again' because I have no doubts that Subaru loved Seishirou or Fuuma loved Kamui. I am actually a huge fan of these couplings.

The Serenity restaurant – I've always been fascinated by the idea of a restaurant run by spirits (Cat, Fox and such spirits. Think XXXholic). It's the place where they keep up with the latest human and spirit news. Subaru is in it (it's his first time there through) because Seishirou would have told him about it (in his letter). The waitress said, "Kamui-sama" because the spirits despise humans and Kamui is seen as a saviour for trying to get rid of humans. But there are spirits who likes humans.

I am going to explain **my** characterisation of Subaru and Fuuma. It will make things clearer for me and you.

Subaru is the Sakurazukamori and because he is the Sakurazukamori he has to be as cold-hearted as possible. He can not feel. Being emotionless is the symbol of a Sakurazukamori but I suppose it's also a defence because he protects himself from guilt, memories and it's easier not caring. But it comes as a price because Subaru keeps a lot of pain hidden inside him. He realises that killing is wrong and feels sad about it, but he bottles it up.

In this chapter I realise his personality has change from the prologue. That's because he is confused. He wakes up after having sex and it's all shocking to him. Subaru always thought sex as a form of affection, love – something he can't feel. He thinks that because, well he did have a sister like Hokuto. She probably cram it in to his head "No Sex! Sex is bad – unless you are married and its your true love!"

Subaru is very insistent on the **not** feeling part because he is the Sakurazukamori and his _'role-model'_ Seishirou never showed emotions. In his twisted sense of logic, if he shows emotions it's like betraying Seishirou. He isn't doing his job as Sakurazukamori and that's like betraying Seishirou- which he does not want because he is still very much in love with Seishirou and is dependent on him. But as we can see Subaru is still very new at being a Sakurazukamori and keeping his emotions intact is difficult for him. Next chapter I'll portray him as a colder person.

Why Subaru doesn't say his name and refers Seishirou as him- DO I dare spoil it for you? Nah, I'll let you figure it out. All you need to know about Subaru is everything he does (the Sakurazukamori act) is for Seishirou and because of that, there is a sinister dark pain deep inside him, hidden by all these layers he created. If someone doesn't break through these layers soon that pain will eat him up.

Do I sense a plot?

And Subaru's breakdown – not random - but could have been written better or have more suspense. He is supposed to break down because he just HAD SEX! It is that shocking to him and he felt like his defences, which he worked so hard on was crumbling down. Don't worry he'll gain his composure back.

Now Fuuma is a difficult character. I think I have Subaru's characterisation done well but Fuuma is extremely hard. I just don't get him well but this is what I think.

To me Fuuma has a split personality. This is due to the 'Dark Kamui' factor.

During the war he pushed people, like he killed Nataku in front of Karen, he gave Subaru Seishirou's eye, and he is doing those nasty (yet sexy) things to Kamui. He finds their weakness and reveals it (…Well sort of. He just pushes them to their limits). I believe there is a reason he does it. He doesn't do it for entertainment, even through most of these 'pushing' is done unconsciously and he looks like he enjoys it. He does it to make people see the 'truth'. What is the truth? I have no idea.

This is why Clamp sees him as 'Uncle Fuuma'. Yeah that doesn't help but it sounds funny XD.

This was Dark Kamui's behaviour. It transfer to the present because he been Kamui for a year. It grows on you.

In this chapter Fuuma pesters Subaru about sex. He looked like he did it for fun but if you squint harder you could see there was a side that regrets it. That is 'Fuuma'. Fuuma as in the mature yet kind person who we **might** see more of. He has merged with his 'Kamui' side but I still think it's a bit split personality.

Anyway, he keeps pestering Subaru about the sex to make him see and to break down his defences. Through he stops because he realises that it's not helping Subaru much but he does it anyway because there is a sadist side to him which enjoys seeing Subaru in pain (Its Fuuma people!). Fuuma doesn't want to hurt Subaru but he has a powerful urge to make break down the defence and realise the pain Subaru is in. How he know about the pain, I presume not only can Fuuma see people's wishes but in to their soul. I suspect he has many hidden powers we don't know of.

So to sum it all up, Fuuma has two sides which are merged in to one. There is the 'Kamui' side that is pushing Subaru's buttons and making him break down in to little pieces and then there is the 'Fuuma' is the nice one… even through he just had sex with Subaru. He was the one that didn't want to hurt Subaru. I don't like writing Fuuma too much. He is too advance for me. I quite like Subaru even through I don't get his character right. He is adorable.

Oh on another note Fuuma's attraction to Subaru. Physical…or so he thinks. In the end Fuuma is just a kid. A human. He doesn't like being alone and with everyone he knew gone…all except one, so he is clinging to that person. I am pretty sure you all can figure out what I mean and where this story is going.

Phew, long explanation. Be grateful because you won't see anyone else as stupid as me and spoil the whole story.

That's all I am going to write. My other beta R.Vampyre commented that I write long author's note because I like to hear myself talk. I wanted to slap her but it had me thinking. Yes I do like to write long author's note because I don't talk often in real life. If you ever meet me I am shy. Seriously. Through for some reason I don't like writing in my livejournal. It's not as fun as FF (Shock!? FF is fun!?)

Ok no more talking. Zip.

Sayonara,

TintAngel


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: **/People do bad things because they are lonely/ – Tokyo Babylon, Volume 7

Cause if you're like me, you'll be too lazy to go back to previous chapters so here is a quick review:

**Summary so far:**A year after the war, Fuuma and Subaru met each other at a downtown bar. Subaru, having low alcohol tolerance, made the mistake of drinking and the next morning he found himself in a motel with Fuuma sleeping next to him. After an argument between them broke out, Subaru quickly left the room. In the sanctuary of his apartment, he broke down into tears as he tried to forget what happened.

**Chapter 2**

Fuuma woke up to find himself in an uncomfortable position, with his tall lean body squished into a small sofa seat and a magazine on his lap. Tiredly, Fuuma lifted up the magazine which strangely had an article _'Does he hate you or is he just shy? 10 ways to tell'_. Slightly confused he looked around his surroundings and slowly his memories came back.

He was sitting on a contemporary red arm chair in a small but clean apartment. The chair was a favourite of his because it was stylish and he bought it with his _own_money, after working a month in a dead-end job. Later he gave up on the job, tired of living life normally.

The apartment he had bought as an 'emergency backup' during 1999. Meaning that if he did lose the war, he'd have a place to hide out… Unless he died, then the apartment would have just rotted away, collecting dust. It was a one bedroom apartment complete with a bathroom, kitchen and living room. It wasn't fancy but it was convenient and no one would suspect that the once destroyer of mankind lived there.

The night before, while walking down Harajuku, Fuuma had seen the magazine and bought it on an impulse– He thought it would have been hilarious to buy it. He didn't suspect that he would become greatly engrossed in it, and that he would stay up the whole night reading it.

It might have something to do with his lack of social life and normality.

Sadly, reading the magazine was the only fun (that was normal), he had had in a while. His late night adventure didn't count - it wasn't_ normal_ for a young eighteen-year-old man to be wandering around in the most treacherous clubs of Tokyo.

Stretching out of the chair, Fuuma lazily got out and dragged his body towards the bathroom. Inside the bathroom he turned on the taps, letting water flow in the sink.

Fuuma tiredly splashed water on his face with one thought on his mind.

'_I hate the mornings'_

…Actually this was not the only thought occupying his mind.

There was another reason why Fuuma stayed up late last night. He could not stop thinking of a certain stubborn man. It was a man with cold green and golden eyes and a personality that could use some major work.

Sakurazukamori Subaru.

It has been one week since he last saw Subaru. During the week Fuuma has been driving himself crazy, wondering whether he should _'Seek Subaru out or not?' _

There were many good reasons why he should.

And there were many good reasons why he should not, with one of them being that he would be stabbed in the heart.

Fuuma was willing to admit he was…an asshole - to put it bluntly, to Subaru. But he couldn't help it. One part of him had to push Subaru's button, tease him, till he broke. He knew it was wrong but…Subaru acting as Sakurazukamori, trying to please a dead man, made him furious. Fuuma wanted to slap Subaru across the face. Anything that would make him open his eyes and see that what he was doing was killing himself.

But as much as Fuuma wanted to help Subaru, he was smarter than that. He knew that if he saw Subaru again, he would kill him.

"I don't want to die yet" Fuuma muttered, his eyes shut as he still cleaned his face, "Not after everything I've been through."

After the war, Fuuma learnt the true meaning of the world hell.

He felt like an outcast as he tried to fit into the human society. He was shunned by everyone around him and it didn't help his sanity that he could hear the whispering of their wishes - their evil desires.

Yet he lived.

He survived through the torture… because he found a reason to live-

Suddenly Fuuma stopped splashing the water. He gazed at the sink intensely but he wasn't watching the small puddle of water in the sink. He seemed to be staring at something beyond that.

'_A reason to live__…?'_

Staring equally intensely at him from the water was his reflection. It could have been the water that was distorting it but it seemed that his reflection looked different. More sinister, with its eyes glaring at him, as if to say _'Why aren't you helping him?'_

"He doesn't need my hep," Fuuma whispered to no one particular.

He was greeted by silence. But his reflection didn't need to use sounds to communicate to him.

'_You know that's a lie.'_ His reflection mouthed the words to him, _'He needs help. You are the only one to help him'_

"…I know"

'_Then what are you waiting for?__ Help him.'_

Fuuma calmly stood upright and dried his face. Turning his head slightly, he saw himself in the mirror. There was his reflection again but this time it was smirking playfully at him.

At that moment, Monou Fuuma made his decision.

He was going to help Subaru even if he refused his help. He didn't know how he would do it yet but he wasn't going to let him go. He wasn't going to let him go because….

"Because I can help"

After all, this was the reason why he was still alive. It was his reason to live. The real question was, could Sakurazukamori Subaru find a reason to live too?

**xXxXxXx**

The blood pouring out from the corpse slowly slid down the dead body and dripped onto the roots of the Sakura tree. The roots seemed to shiver in delight as they wrapped themselves around the bloody corpse and began to drag it slowly into the ground.

Subaru stood quietly underneath the Sakura tree, cleaning his bloodstained hands while watching the scene in front of him calmly. It was a sight that he had seen many times. It didn't disturb him anymore.

Sakura petals began to drift towards Subaru and gently touched his skin as if to say _'Thank you'_.

Subaru closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the small gesture of kindness and muttered his reply, "You're welcome".

With that said he quickly turned around and left the Sakura tree to enjoy its meal. It must have been 3 in the morning when Subaru completed his job. This job was like any other job before.

Seek the target, destroy the target and of course, leave no evidence.

And as a bonus, he completed it with a cold and elegant attitude that made him truly live up to the Sakurazukamori's name.

Stepping out of Ueno Park, Subaru found it bizarre that even through the lights were still on; it seemed strangely dark and quiet. There wasn't a single soul around.

How suspicious.

Through it didn't seem like something worth worrying about. Shrugging off his suspicions, Subaru patted his pockets to find his cigarettes. He found them and opened the box to find that there was none left.

"Just my luck," muttered under his breath in annoyance. He looked around the area to see if there was a vending machine that sold cigarettes. Luckily for him, there was one at the end of the street. Walking towards the vending machine, he suddenly had a distinct feeling that…. someone was watching him.

He had another feeling that he knew who it was.

Finally arriving towards the machine he put some money in and got a packet of Mild 7 cigarettes. Then, looking for a lighter in his pockets, Subaru was dismayed to find none.

"First my cigarettes and now my lighter? What else could go wrong?" Subaru asked himself.

"Did you need a lighter?"

Subaru just received his answer.

Everything.

**xXxXxXx**

Fuuma found it incredibly easy to find Subaru. All he had to do was think like a Sakurazukamori. And if he was a Sakurazukamori where would he be? Only at one place, Ueno Park.

'_And surprise, surprise'_ Fuuma thought to himself. He was hiding behind one of the trees, trying to keep quiet so he doesn't catch Subaru's attention. _'There he is.'_

Fuuma watched Subaru as he gave his victim the killing blow to his heart. Fuuma secretly admired how professional and cold Subaru to seem. He had to admit he never thought that Subaru would have fulfil the Sakurazukamori's duties. Even after offering Seishirou's eye and seeing his wish changed, he still didn't expect Subaru to become a killer. Especially that fast.

'_People change. I shouldn't be that surprised'_. After all he changed in to _'Kamui' _straight after Kamui made his choice. He became the destroyer of mankind in a mere few seconds.

He leaned on the tree, deep in thought, his eyes never leaving Subaru.

'_Beautiful'_ Fuuma admitted to himself.It was a strange thought especially after seeing him kill someone but Fuuma thought Subaru was very beautiful.

'_And'_ He chuckled to himself, _'He looked absolutely delicious, pinned underneath me'_

Now that Fuuma thought about it, the night they met each other at the bar was interesting. Subaru showed a hidden personality- a sexually frustrated, aggressive and ferocious personality. Fuuma had to admit though, that Subaru's vicious behaviour made his night.

A very interesting night.

He reminisced how Subaru kissed him hungrily down his neck, as if he needed to taste him. How he dug his fingers into his back, piercing the skin, as he moaned in ecstasy. He looked very sexy, lying on top of that bed; naked-revealing his slim and attractive body, looking at him hungrily, saying in a low seductive voice, "Take me now Fuuma."

Ok maybe Fuuma exaggerated with the last part. He did have a little alcohol that night too.

Fuuma shook his head, getting rid of the thoughts. He was supposed to be helping Subaru, not having perverted thoughts about him.

'_You have to admit, he was sexy'_

"Shush" Fuuma hissed to himself, "Not helping"

"Just my luck." Looking up, Fuuma saw that Subaru has already walked outside the park and was now patting his pockets, searching for something.

'_Cigarettes'_ He immediately thought. When Subaru started walking down the street he had a sudden urge that he should confront him.

'_This is my chance…' _Trusting his instincts, he left his hiding spot and quickly made his way to Subaru. Lucky for him, Subaru was too distracted to notice him and he managed to creep up behind him.

"First my cigarettes and now my lighter? What else could go wrong?"

'_It's just too perfect'_ Fuuma thought and opened his mouth, "Did you need a lighter?"

**xXxXxXx**

Subaru turned around and saw Fuuma standing behind him. He knew that Fuuma was watching him but to be able to sneak up on him like that-!

"Not really…" Subaru responded coldly, "But thank you"

It gave Subaru a small amount of satisfaction when Fuuma gave him a disbelieving look. He probably didn't expect him to accept his offer. Wordlessly Fuuma got out a small lighter and flicked it on. Subaru also got out a cigarette and bended towards the lighter, letting Fuuma lite the cigarette for him.

After the cigarette was lit, Subaru took a deep breath and tilted his head backwards, blowing the smoke out of his mouth. He let out a satisfying sigh of relief.

It always felt good to have a smoke after a job.

Fuuma, who was watching him with a great interest asked, "Don't you think we are having nice weather today Subaru?"

Subaru didn't reply.

Fuuma tried again, "Through I would like to be somewhere warmer. Maybe a café or restaurant? I'm sure there will be one nearby."

"…"

"Then again, the bloodstains over you would attract attention. Maybe we should go to your apartment. We could have a nice-"

"Can I help you _Kamui_?" Subaru snapped

"…Talk" Fuuma finished his last sentence, "Well now that you asked, you could help me."

"It was a rhetorical question. I don't actually give damn."

"That's not nice" Fuuma replied back, "Didn't anyone teach you manners? I was just starting a conversation"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Start meaningless conversations."

"Then I'll cut to the chase then," Fuuma smirked, "I thought you looked very beautiful today Subaru. Only you can kill someone with such grace"

"…"

There was an awkward silence between them as Subaru silently smoked his cigarette. After a long drag, he dropped it on the ground and stubbed it out with his shoe before turning around and making his way down the street.

As Fuuma watched Subaru walked down the street, he noticed something. Something about the way how Subaru's figure reminded him of an old acquaintance.

Usually he would not have said anything. Honestly.

"You look like Seishirou."

Subaru abruptly stopped walking and froze on to the spot.

"But what am I thinking? He is dead and you are still alive, Subaru-kun."

Turning his head, Subaru glared murderously at Fuuma.

"Did I hit a sore spot Subaru-kun?" He ignored the glare and continued, even though in the back of his mind, someone was screaming for him to stop, "I know how much you loved him"

Fuuma thought he saw something, a deep emotion, in Subaru eyes but he couldn't confirm it because he had lowered his head. Subaru took a deep calm breath. He lifted his head again and stared at Fuuma directly in the eye.

"…He may be dead," Subaru responded indifferently, "But he lives on in me"

Turning around, he disappeared into an illusion he created before Fuuma could reply. All that was left was the Sakurazukamori's symbol.

Sakura petals.

"…Shit" Fuuma cursed loudly slapping his head, "Why did I say that? I'm always saying such stupid things."

This was not the way to help Subaru. He really needed to learn how to control himself and to keep his mouth shut.

"It could have been worse" Fuuma sighed, "At least I didn't say anything about us sleeping with each other"

Turning the other way, he walked down the streets. He needed to rethink his plan to help Subaru. He had a feeling there would be more times when he wouldn't be able to shut his mouth and make more comments. If that were true, he would need to think of a plan that would allow him to be with Subaru even after the comments he made.

Looking up, Fuuma saw Ueno Park above the train station. Standing still, he shook his head tiredly.

"How did he do it? How did he get Subaru to trust him…" Stopping mid sentence, he jerked his head up and stared at Ueno Park again.

Subaru and the Sakurazukamori's relationship began at one place. It all began underneath the illuminating and dangerous Sakura Tree.

It began.

And that's when an idea suddenly hit him.

**xXxXxXx**

Subaru still had a grim face on as he arrived in his penthouse. Casting his dirtied clothes aside, he made his way to the shower. It has been a week since he last saw Fuuma and he thought that Fuuma would have forgotten about him by then.

But even if Fuuma did forget, Subaru won't.

After his... unfortunate collapse, it took Subaru a couple of hours to calm down, to build up his defence again. Making sure he was ok, in his mind he analysed the broken memories he had of that night. He remembered arriving at a bar and meeting Fuuma there.

Though it was hard to tell, but he was sure that Fuuma kissed him. That he was the one who made the first move. He was the one to pursue Subaru. Subaru definitely knew it wasn't him, he didn't wish to kiss Fuuma, let alone sleep with him.

Then why did Fuuma do that?

'_Sex, mind-games or he enjoys being a prick'_ Subaru grumbled, _'Why else?"_

Sex was the main, and most likely, reason. Fuuma was a young man. It was only natural for him to be sexually active. The alcohol he drank must have affected him badly and caused him to sleep with Subaru – Subaru knew that if he were sober, he wouldn't have slept with him and would have found a random whore instead.

Or maybe, he was playing a strange mind-game with Subaru. Subaru knew Fuuma. He knew that he liked to play these games and he knew sleeping with Subaru would cause such devastating results. He knew it would hurt him and it would break his cold, heartless illusion (not that Subaru suggest that Fuuma broke him. Just that his defences were momentarily broken allowing him to get hurt. Though he still was emotionless, just…)

Or that Fuuma was just a sick, twisted, sadistic, bastard and that both of the theories were correct.

This was just a game to Fuuma, one where he was using Subaru's weaknesses to break him and along the way he gets to screw with him. Both non-literally and literally.

That, sadly, seemed like the best reason.

Subaru knew Fuuma was a twisted, sadistic man. He was a Dragon of Earth and had seen Fuuma in action. He had seen Fuuma act like this towards Kamui many time. He had seen Fuuma using Kamui's love, past, relationship with him against him. Causing him immense pain until he broke down in tears.

It seemed that the war ending did not change Fuuma's personality or should he say… Kamui's.

Because in the end, there was no Fuuma. He was Kamui - The Kamui of the Dragon of Earth's true self.

Fuuma was just an act.

And 'Kamui' must have been bored with the life he had had for the past year. That was why he was acting this way towards Subaru. He planned to hurt him, break him for the hell of it. Though he may have had his eyes set on Subaru; there was no way in hell that Subaru was going to let him get to him.

He wasn't the naïve, achingly sweet, adorable 16-year-old he was before.

He wasn't the weak, pathetic, confused self he was during the war.

He was cold, indifferent, heartless - He had been for the past year.

Subaru was not going to let _'Kamui'_ get to him. He wasn't weak anymore. He wasn't going to let 'Kamui' break him. He wouldn't show his emotions. He didn't have any. Not anymore. Not any more…

He was after all the Sakurazukamori.

Subaru decided that night; if he saw Fuuma, he would play his game. And he would be the victor.

**xXxXxXx**

Sipping on his coffee, Subaru stared tiredly at the view outside. The sun was out and happily brightened the streets that were crowded with the citizens of Tokyo.

'_What a dreary sight'_

After escaping (there was no other word for it) from Fuuma, he returned to his penthouse and cleaned himself. After clearing his thoughts, he decided to stay up during the whole night, instead of going to bed, entertaining himself with books until the morning. The moment the sun had risen he quickly left his apartment and went out to eat.

And there he was, in a small café that opened early in the morning, sipping his coffee.

'_Thank you for coffee'_

He wasn't much of a coffee drinker before, preferring tea, but he soon found out that being the Sakurazukamori was tiring and that coffee helped. It made his dull world seem a little brighter.

Then suddenly, not even coffee could save him as his world fell apart. Subaru almost cringed when he heard the voice of the one person he did not want to see. Not yet.

"Subaru"

'_Someone out there hates me'_

Let the games begin.

**xXxXxXx**

"Good morning Subaru" Fuuma commented taking the seat in front of Subaru, who was looking at him blankly, "Isn't this a lovely morning"

"Good morning Kamui" Subaru muttered, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Please, how many times do I have to say it? Call me Fuuma"

"…I rather not. You'll always be Kamui to me. Besides by calling you by your first name, it imply that we have a relationship with each other"

"We don't?"

"No"

Fuuma paused for a minute but decided not to venture any further into that part of the conversation.

"…How are you this morning Subaru?"

"I'm fine"

"We didn't get to talk a lot last night. You disappeared too fast, that you didn't give me any time to catch you"

"Hmmm…."

"You give the Sakurazukamori a good name"

"…Thank you" Subaru accepted the compliment politely. _'What is he planning?'_

"But of course" Fuuma leaned in closer, his elbow on the table and chin resting on his hand. "You're not good enough"

Subaru cautiously looked at Fuuma.

It was an invitation, tempting him to join this twisted cat and mouse game. An invitation that he, despite the risks, was willing to accept.

And like a 'true' Sakurazukamori, Subaru smirked predatorily as he changed his façade.

In a mocking manner, he followed Fuuma's pose and whispered to him, "What do you mean?"

Fuuma raised his eyebrow. _'Interesting reaction…'_

"Well for one thing you let me find you," Fuuma said, "If you were good as you believe yourself to be then we wouldn't be talking"

True… "Maybe I let you find me" Subaru remarked, "After all I am the Sakurazukamori"

He then gave Fuuma a challenging look.

Fuuma asked mockingly, "Does that mean, me the hunter, has become the hunted?"

"…Maybe" Subaru smiled at him, "This is just another cat and mouse game we are playing"

Fuuma expression did not change but Subaru's smile confused him. It looked warm yet cold at the same time. _'He is pretending.'_

"A cat and mouse game?" He asked, "This sounds familiar somehow."

"I have no idea what you mean" Subaru replied in a low tone, "This is the first time I have played something like this."

"Really now?" Fuuma leaned back in his chair, "That may be true but I have seen a game being played like this before."

"Kamui…"

"Please call me Fuuma," Fuuma grinned, "As I was saying before, I think it was the last Sakurazukamori who played it"

'_That damn son of a-'_ Subaru gripped the table tightly, glaring dangerously at Fuuma.

"He used to do this to a young man, a long time ago" Fuuma began telling his story. Subaru tried to stop him or leave, he didn't want to listen, but there was something in Fuuma's voice that had a tight hold over him. It commanded him to stay and listen despite his protests.

"It was an interesting game between Sakurazukamori and this man. The young man would desperately try to catch up to Sakurazukamori, Sometimes the Sakurazukamori let the young man catch up with him. But they both knew that if the Sakurazukamori wanted to he could have disappeared from the man's sight and he'll never be able to find him again… But for some reason, Sakurazukamori decided not to."

Subaru trembled angrily, staring at his coffee cup.

"Do you know why?" Fuuma asked softly.

"No"

"Because the Sakurazukamori liked the young man…No he love-"

Subaru stood up and slammed his hands on the table, knocking the cup over and spilling the coffee across the table. There was a tense silence as Subaru sat back down, refusing to look at Fuuma. The silence didn't disappear as one of the waitresses came and cleaned up the mess. After she left, Subaru broke the silence…

…By laughing.

Fuuma frowned as Subaru laughed. It wasn't a laughter that expressed any happiness but hatred and disgust.

"You make me sick" Subaru smiled at Fuuma, his eyes betraying no emotions.

Fuuma felt a stab in his heart, "I am sorry you feel that way Subaru"

"No you're not" He continued to smile, his voice was dripping with venom. "Don't lie to me"

Fuuma looked at him deeply in his eyes, "I am truly sorry that you feel this way Subaru."

"Feel?" Subaru gave Fuuma a nasty grin, "Kamui. I don't feel. You out of all people should know that"

They both sat there in silence. Fuuma did not want to say anything.

Subaru turned his head away and looked out of the window; he could feel that he was losing it and he would be damned if he let Fuuma see him like this.

Fuuma took a deep breath. This conversation was going no where.

'_Then let me help'_

Fuuma eyes widen slightly. Did he dare….? What choice did he have.

"It must be lonely."

"…"

"It must be very lonely for you Subaru," Fuuma repeated, in a different tone then before, "For you to act as the Sakurazukamori."

"Act? I don't act, I am the Sakurazukamori"

"Which Sakurazukamori are you talking about?" Fuuma asked sinisterly, "Are we talking about the Sakurazukamori, guardian of the Sakura which lies in Ueno Park…"

"Of course that Sakurazukamori. What other Sakurazukamori are there…?"

'_No. Don't you dare-'_

"Seishirou." Fuuma smirked cruelly, "Who else?"

"…" Subaru looked at Fuuma, glaring at him intensely. _'That's it. I am ending this now.'_

"I do know that you love him-"

"Me, love him?" Subaru interrupted Fuuma. "How could I love him?"

Fuuma gave Subaru a strange look, "It is quite obvious that-"

"It's true I may have _loved_ him" Subaru said, emphasising the past tense, "But I am a changed man. I am a Sakurazukamori, I don't love. I don't even feel. End of discussion"

"You being the Sakurazukamori proves that you loved him."

"No it doesn't. I am the Sakurazukamori because if I am not, it will upset the magical balance of Japan. I am only doing my duty."

"…That may be true but you doing your duty, doesn't mean you don't feel"

Subaru remained silent…Not because he didn't have any idea how to reply but because….Fuuma kept referring back to his having feelings.

'_I think I just found a way to end this conversation…'_

"Do you think I have emotions…Fuuma?" Subaru asked softly, looking solemnly at the table.

He called him Fuuma.

Fuuma, taken back by Subaru's response, replied "Yes I do."

"Fuuma," Subaru thought saying his name felt weird but continued on, "I can't feel. You know that"

"…"

"I am the Sakurazukamori." His voice started to sound hoarse as if he was starting to cry, "I can't feel. If I feel…It would be…be…"

"Yes?"

"Betraying him." Subaru lifted his head up, revealing his face. His eyes was red and tears were beginning to form, "I can't betray him…I love him"

"Subaru" Fuuma said in a soft tone as he reached out and wiped the tears away, "Its ok. Its ok"

"Really…?" Subaru looked at him, "Its ok…?"

"Yes" Fuuma smiled, not noticing that Subaru's eyes seemed…. "Its ok"

'_That was…easy.'_ Fuuma thought, _'All he needed was a little push'_

But in the back of his mind someone disagreed, _'…No. You're wrong'_

"Then I have a confession to make" Subaru said, "Can I tell you?"

"Yes, of course," Fuuma smiled reassuringly

"I think…." Subaru took a deep breath. He leaned in close toward Fuuma. Fuuma could feel Subaru breathing down his neck. It tickled a bit and felt nice. Maybe after this, him and Subaru can…

"You are the most pathetic man I have ever met"

"What?" Fuuma jerked back in shock as Subaru returned to his seat, "What did you say?"

Subaru grinned cruelly and laughed again, "I can't believe you fell for that"

"You…"

"Kamui" Subaru chuckled as he slapped Fuuma's hand away, "Maybe I should tell you something about the Sakurazukamori. We are a clan of illusions. We're very good actors."

Fuuma lowered his hand in disbelief. Looking down at the table, he tried to think of what just happened.

"I hope you enjoyed that show."

It was the ultimate triumph card. Subaru felt like he won that game. By showing Fuuma that façade, showed that he was really a heartless person. That he really couldn't feel.

He was, after all, the Sakurazukamori.

'_He... Can't feel…'_Fuuma thought miserably, _'That was a cruel act. I really thought that…That was cruel.'_

'_That's called revenge' _His…conscious replied back, _'You didn't treat him nicely before. Why should he to you?'_

'_But…'_

'_That wasn't even that bad. You've gone through worse'_

'…_Maybe this is a lost cause. Maybe I shouldn't-'_

'_Are you backing out?' _his conscious sounded angry,_ 'You knew there would be obstacles; you knew Subaru wasn't going to let you help him. Let you break his façade, a façade his been wearing for over a year. His only defence.'_

'…'

'_He needs your help. You know that. Don't let this stop you. He's just…scared of what you can do.'_

'…'

'_What are you going to do now?'_

"What do you think?"

Subaru looked at Fuuma curiously, "Pardon me?"

Fuuma looked at Subaru, "I thought that was a lovely show, but it isn't going to stop me."

"Pardon?"

"It is tempting to believe that you have no emotions Subaru…But" Fuuma paused for a moment for dramatic effect.

"But what?" Subaru asked, seeming mildly interested.

"I think you are lying." Fuuma said in a low, serious tone. A tone that caused Subaru to lean back a bit. "I am calling your bluff, Subaru Sakurazukamori. You are a human and you must feel. That's what makes us humans special."

"But, like you said before, I am the Sakurazukamori." Subaru replied charmingly, a cold smile accompanying the comment, "Thus I must not be able to feel. That show just proved it."

"That show didn't really prove anything. It just showed you are a good actor. But even the best actors feel."

"I'm different"

Fuuma shook his head and gave Subaru a warm, kind smile. "Then let's make a bet shall we."

"…A bet?" Subaru whispered in disbelief.

"Do you accept it?"

"I haven't heard of the terms yet." Subaru whispered dangerously.

"Does it matter what the terms is? You already know what the bet is. What matters is will you accept it or not…Or are you afraid?" It was quite obvious what this bet will be about.

Subaru growled under his breath, "I am not afraid"

"It seems like you are. Do you accept the bet or not Subaru?"

Subaru was in a tight situation. He had a feeling what the bet would be. There was no other bet that Fuuma could make. What he was proposing was ridiculous, but Subaru wasn't going to let him think he had won.

"I accept this bet. What are the conditions?"

Fuuma gave Subaru a wicked smile, "I bet that…"

**xXxXxXx**

Sakura shivered, in delight or fright, it did not know, as it stared blankly at the sky. Sakura has always been there, standing in Ueno Park. It seen many things in its life, from the birth of the Sakurazukamori, its guardians, to the many misadventures they venture.

Yet nothing as peculiar as this.

"Interesting"

Its newest guardian, Subaru, was by far its favourite. He appealed to Sakura far more then any other guardians. His familiar past with her last guardian may be the reason.

Sakura pitied him.

Feeling a change in the wind Sakura looked away from the sky. Subaru was making a life changing decision.

Whether it was a mistake or not…Only time will tell.

"Interesting"

**End of Chapter 2**

**Author's Note:**I'm not dead. Hazza! This chapter went through so many rewrites I've lost count. If there is any mistakes, grammer problems, anything that I or my beta missed, let me know. I am always looking for new ways to improve my writing.

Are you confused? Good, then I know I've done my job. Am I confused? Yes.

Will I update soon….? Not right now. I'm busy.

Special thanks to Marsy-chan my wonderful Beta. Thank you! Your emails and compliments make me smile! And thank you for listening to my problems and actually replying to my email. Seriously, you have no idea how many people don't reply. It's annoying. Thank you Marsy-chan! Glomp!

And extra special thanks to the X fandom. Thank you for making me in to a crazed fangirl, who enjoys reading lemon way too much. GLOMP!

Another big thanks to the readers. Thank you for reading this story (and if you did review, thank you). I appreciate it. I know it doesn't seem like it but I really do appreciate you reading this story. Thank you. And I apologize for my lack of updates. I've been busy lately. I am after all an exam student who will be busy for the next two years. Please forgive me.

Till next time, TintAngel.

P.S. I am putting a Sakura spirit in it. Why? Because I have an image of a young woman wearing a kimono covered in blood and grinning like a madman in my heads for days. That and I wanted to screw up with the timeline and reality.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:** Yes I am alive -.-; Sorry life been hectic (Studies, Love, Cosplay ect)

I swear this is the last flashback structure I do…For the next few chapters. Part one of the chapter is the night after the bet was made, then flashback of the bet, then it's back to the normal timeline. It wouldn't have sound nice if it was in chronological order.

**Summary: **It's been a year since the war. After a one night scandalous affair with Fuuma, Subaru thought it would be the last time he saw him. He was wrong. Fuuma, wanting to help Subaru, sought him out and did the only thing he could do that would allow him to stay in contact with Subaru. He made a bet with him.

And the wheels of fate started to spin.

**Chapter 3**

Imagine a place where our soul and mind could go if they desired to hide away from the outside world. A sanctuary - one that was as deadly as it was beautiful.

A Dream World.

The Dream world is where the mind escapes to when the body rests. They have the power to bring peace to one's mind or trap them in a living nightmare. Though there may be billions of dreams worlds, each one is unique - reflecting the creator's soul and mind.

It is also possible for one to enter another person's dream world.

Sakurazukamori Subaru sat quietly underneath a glowing Sakura tree. His dream world was blanketed by a bleak darkness; the only light source was, strangely, the Sakura tree.

Lost in his own little world, he was silently picking off the sakura petals that landed on his clothes when he heard an intruder enter.

"Good evening Subaru"

Subaru looked up at the visitor. Standing in front of him was a figure that was glowing as brightly as the Sakura tree.

It was the Sakura spirit that resided in the tree.

"Sakura-sama" Subaru bowed his head respectfully.

"There is no need for suffix" Sakura said as she took a seat next to Subaru, "We're all friends here"

Subaru scoffed at her as she gave him a small smile. Sitting underneath the Sakura tree they both silently stared at the bleak horizon. Out of the corner of his eye, Subaru observed Sakura.

It wasn't the first time he met her in his dream world. During the past year she dropped by numerous times, but only for a moment. And she wasn't always a she.

There were times when she was posed as a man. Through she always wore yukatas, with every design different to the last, there were subtle signs. When Sakura posed as a man Subaru found it slightly amusing calling a gentleman "Sakura".

Today, Sakura was definitely dressed as a female with her long flowing black hair and her glowing pink yukata clinging to her frame showing off her feminine body.

"Friends seem to be a loose word to describe our relationship, Sakura-sama" Subaru muttered indifferently replying to her previous statement.

"Maybe" Sakura closed her eyes, "But if you have a friendly relationship with anyone I expect it to be me"

"What do you want, Sakura-sama?" Subaru did not feel the need to amuse her with pointless chatter.

"So blunt" She shook her head, clucking her tongue in a disappointed manner, "I thought you were bettered mannered."

"Sakura-sama, I don't appreciate it when strangers barge into my dream world without permission and lecture me on my manners."

"It was hardly a lecture. I just wanted to check up on you. I was worried."

"There is no need to worry about me…I am fine"

"Fine?" Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side, "You recently had a breakdown didn't you?"

Subaru stiffened under Sakura's intense stare. It was a subtle move but she noticed it immediately. "Sakura-sama, that's none of your business"

"It is, if it happens to one of my guardians" She held his hand softly, "I care for you"

"You only _care_ because I am the one feeding you" Subaru gritted his teeth, pulling his hand away from her gentle touch.

"….That was uncalled for Subaru."

"But it's true."

"It's part of the truth-"

"I told you-"

"But" Sakura interrupted Subaru, "That still doesn't change the fact that I am worried about you. You may be my guardian but your mental state…You aren't stable"

"…"

"I can find other means to support myself. If it's too hard for you then I can-"

"Are you suggesting that I am weak?"

"Not weak Subaru. Never weak."

"Really because you it sounded as though you doubt my abilities to handle this job. That I am not up for it."

"Forgive me if it sounded harsh, but I meant no offence. Subaru, the past guardians have been training for this job all their lives. They were born into this. You were _manipulated_ into this. You're not emotionally stable enough to-"

"Sakura-sama, I can do this job. I am not weak. I can do this." He stared at her with a fiery sense of determination and a mixture of desperation, "Please…"

"Subaru" Sakura whispered his name, "If you believe you can…"

"Thank you"

Sakura sighed to herself, "It's ok to have emotions. Its ok to feel."

"The past Sakurazukamori didn't."

"They did…But they ignored them."

"Then I will too." Subaru said stubbornly, refusing to back down.

He felt nothing.

"You shouldn't bottle it up. It's not good for you."

"Sakura-sama, I don't want to hear this from you too" Subaru closed his eyes, resting his head on the Sakura tree, "I've heard enough about my feelings from _Kamui_. I am sick of this conversation. Why can't we all just accept the fact, I have no feelings. I feel nothing."

"Because it's not true." There was a sense of urgency in her voice, "I know you can feel Subaru. You believe that you have killed any lingering emotions you had but I know the truth. I know that-

"Stop!"

Subaru growled underneath his breath. His head bowed down so that he could not look at Sakura. She could hear that his breathing became harsh, his hands were clenched tightly into fists and that he bit his lips hard enough to cause them to bleed. The darkness around them seemed to creep in, attracted to the deathly aura that Subaru was radiating.

Sakura did not say another word.

In the end he calmed down by himself. Subaru took in long, deep breaths, his tense body relaxing with each one. Eventually he returned back to his calm, cold self.

Taking a chance, Sakura started to talk again but about a different topic, "….Subaru, this bet you have with Kamui-"

"Sakura-sama" Subaru muttered, "I…only entered the bet to prove myself."

"…I'm glad you accepted it" Sakura smiled, though it not the response she had hoped for, "It might be good for you"

"What do you mean?"

"I think it will be good. It has been a while since you've had a companion."

"I don't see him as a companion. He is nothing more then a glass object to me" There was a hint of anger in his tone.

Sakura smiled sadly, "Either way, I hope you will stay with him during the duration of the bet. And please try. Not to win but just try."

"…I'm confused."

"Just try…You'll understand what I mean"

"...As you wish Sakura-sama"

Subaru and Sakura sat underneath the tree in silence, lost in their own thoughts, while they watched the sakura petals drift towards the dark oblivion.

There was nothing else to be said.

**xXxXxXx**

_/Fuuma smirked at Subaru after finishing his proposal. "What do you think?"_

"_I think talking to you is insulting my intelligence" Subaru replied coolly, "That bet is preposterous. I always knew you were twisted, but not stupid"_

"_Harsh, Subaru-kun" Fuuma replied with a playful tone, "But it's too late to back out now. You've already accepted."_

"_Yes…" Subaru grimaced, "And I now regret it."_

"_Why? Are you scared that you might actually-"_

"_No. Because I won't." He cut Fuuma off, "I regret it because I am playing a stupid game that will go on for…How long will this game go on for?"_

_Fuuma thought about it for a moment, "One year"_

"_One Year?" Subaru repeated the words, "I don't have time for one year"_

"_Subaru, if I could have it shortened, I would. But I can't." Fuuma shrugged, "It's the only way we can have a fair game."_

"_That doesn't make sense"_

"_Doesn't it?" There was a glint in Fuuma's eyes, "You had one year. The war lasted for one year. I deserve one year too."_

"_Fine" Subaru wasn't willing to argue, "By this time next year, the bet will be over and a winner will be decided. Which will obviously be me."_

"_I wouldn't be so sure." Fuuma smirked, "You never know…"_

"_Trust me, I know I will win. Next rule."_

"_I can see you anytime I want to." _

"_No"_

"_What? How else will I be able to succeed? I have to see you"_

"_Once a year-"_

"_Now you are being silly. I can't do anything with only seeing you once a year"_

"…_.Once a month?"_

"_Every day"_

"_No. I am tired of seeing you now. Everyday will drive me crazy. Once a week."_

"_Everyday."_

"_Kamui now you are the one being silly."_

"_Look. How about I see you whenever I want to?"_

"_No. Meetings will have to be planned" Subaru shook his head._

_Fuuma winked playfully at him, "What if I want to surprise you?"_

"…_I don't do surprises."_

"_Subaru-kun-"_

_Subaru cut him off, "And you are not allowed to call me Subaru-kun, Kamui-"_

"_Fuuma." Fuuma repeated Subaru's action, "If we are going to make this work you'll have to address me as Fuuma."_

"…_No"_

"_If you do, I'll stop calling you Subaru-kun"_

_Subaru growled at Fuuma, "…Fine."_

"_Now about seeing each other, dates will be planned. But I will drop by unexpectedly and I am allowed to take you to unplanned breakfast dates, lunch dates and dinner dates-"_

"_Stop using the words dates"_

"_That's basically what it is. A date-_

"_Fine but you are not allowed to disturb me during a job or when I am at home"_

"_How else am I supposed to catch you off guard? Usually people turn up in front of their…"_

"_Acquaintance's"_

"_Not the word I am looking for but it will have to do- front door." Fuuma finished the sentence before._

"_You can't enter my home" Subaru replied sternly._

"_What if you invite me?'_

"_I won't invite you"_

"_What if you do?"_

_Subaru sighed, it would be best to agree to Fuuma's terms and not argue. The quicker this was done the quicker he can leave. "…If I invite you, which is never, you may enter."_

"_Good"_

"_Anything else?"_

"_You can't lie." Fuuma said, "I think it's important we are to be open to each other"_

"_Denied"_

"_What?"_

_  
"I don't want to tell you, out of all people, anything about me"  
_

"_Fine, we can have secrets. But most things we should be truthful"_

"_Only if I want"_

"_You can't lie Subaru. Beside what do you have to hide?"_

"_Fine. I won't lie."_

"_Good" Fuuma nodded satisfyingly, "What about you? What are your requests?"_

"…_If I want a free day, you are not allowed to disturb me. If there is a topic I don't want to talk about- you can't say a word."_

"_Reasonable request…Accepted but with your free days you get one every couple of weeks. I don't want you taking one everyday."_

"_Fine… You can't touch me again"  
_

"_Pardon?"_

"_I don't want to wake up with you in my bed again"_

"…_What if-"_

"_No"_

"_Ok. Unless you are sober and ask for it and initiate it. I won't touch you."_

"_I believe that is all…"_

_Fuuma thought for a moment, "…I have once more request"_

"_Yes?"_

"_I think we should make this more interesting" Fuuma smirked, "You can't remember the details of our bet"  
_

"_Pardon?"_

"_You can remember the conditions, you can remember the gist of it but you can't remember the full detail. The part specifically on how you win."_

"_But how am I supposed to win?"_

"_Subaru you already know this bet would be about you and you having feelings-"_

"_Which doesn't exist"_

"_Just erasing that part of the bet from your memory won't do any harm but it will make it more interesting."_

"_No"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because that's not fair. You have the upper hand"_

"_Then I'll forget too"_

"_What? Then how do we know who won?"_

"_We'll know."_

"…"

"_Trust me Subaru." Fuuma gave him a charming smile, "We'll know."_

"…"

"_Subaru...?"_

"_If you forget too, then I agree. Maybe if I don't remember that part of the bet it will be easier for me to talk to you. Since I won't realise how much of an idiot you are"_

"_Excellent. I believe that is all."_

_Fuuma stood up and Subaru followed suit._

"_I'll see you soon then"_

"_When?"_

"_I'll call you"/_

**xXxXxXx**

Blinking his eyes open, Fuuma softly smiled to himself. Turning his head to the side, he read the time on his alarm clock.

It was 8:00am.

January 8th.

"Day Number 1" Fuuma muttered, "Or is it Number 2?"

He yawned tiredly as he reluctantly sat up on the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he took a moment to think of what he'd just done.

He just made a bet with the Sakurazukamori.

It was a silly bet, a bet that he shouldn't have made. But what was done - is done and now it's all in the past. He made the bet with good reasons, a purpose - to help Subaru. As long as his reasons are good then it doesn't matter how he achieves his purpose.

"Does it?"

'_You're complaining now?'_

He blinked in shock, surprised to hear the voice, "I'm not complaining..."

'_Just contemplating'_

"...I don't need to discuss this with you" Deciding that was the best reply, he hastily threw the bed covers off as he got out of bed. Hearing voices was not a good sign.

Neither was talking back to them.

'_I'm just a voice? I thought you knew better'_

Ignoring the voice, Fuuma made his way to the bathroom. As he turned on the taps, the loud splashing noises seemed to help clear his mind...Seemed.

'_Ignoring me?'_

"..."

'_You weren't this quiet when I suggested the bet...Or should I say you suggested it? Since technically you were the one who said it to the Sumeragi'_

"...I accidently blurted it out." Fuuma said dryly, "And it's Sakurazukamori"

'_Once a Sumeragi- always a Sumeragi. And accidently? Yes...you accidently made a bet, discuss the details and tried to flirt with a man that you emotionally traumatized'_

"...I didn't flirt with him" He protested as he turned off the water, beginning his morning routine.

'_Of course not' _the voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"And he isn't emotionally traumatized..."

'_Just suicidal'_

"That's why I need to help him." Fuuma replied, "And this bet will help me help him"

Finishing up in the bathroom, he started to make his way to the kitchen to have breakfast.

'_Really?'_

"Yes. I want to help Subaru-"

Fuuma's reply was cut off as a loud shrilling noise echoed across the apartment. Looking up, towards the sound, it slowly registered in his mind that it was the phone.

'_Phone'_

"I know"

'_Are you going to pick it up?'_

"..." Fuuma sighed to himself, "Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness"

'_What's the second?'_

"Actually getting a reply" Fuuma picked up the phone, "Monou speaking"

"Monou, do you feel like working tonight?"

**xXxXxXx**

Fuuma didn't always spend his days lazing around and doing nothing. He couldn't live his comfortable life without working... Well he could, but it seemed ethically right if he did get a job. (Even though there was enough money in his bank account to live an extravagant lifestyle for many years to come.)

He'd been drifting in and out of jobs during the past year. The first job he had was working at a local supermarket. But the morning job bored him to death causing him to choose a job that worked late nights. Whether it be waitering, bartending or even hosting- he did them all with a smile plastered across his face. He didn't care what job it was as long as he had something to do.

Tonight he was working at a hostess bar, down in Roponggi hills. His main priority was to watch over the place. He may be doing random requests for the hostess, guarding the door from lechers and unruly men or serving customers their drinks.

Fuuma always hated jobs that included customer service. They annoyed him greatly, but he put up with it due to the lovely hostess.

It also helped that the job paid well.

"Fuuma – darling," Looking up, he saw a beautiful lady walking towards him, with an air of superiority and confident. It was his boss, Madame Mai - a very powerful and well-respected lady, as well as the owner of the hostess bar. Holding a cigarette in her hand she asked, "Could you be a doll and take care of Ayako's child? Ren-chan?"

"Ren-chan, Mama-sama?" Fuuma asked surprised at the request, "Ayako brought Ren-chan _here_? Again?"

"Yes, that silly woman." Mai sighed dramatically, "We're a hostess club not a childcare- but she's our best hostess. How could I refuse?"

"I'll gladly look after Ren-chan" Fuuma smirked, "Anything to get out of...serving these drunken bastards"

"Yes but these drunken bastards pay your bills"

Fuuma chuckled at her response. _'What bills?'_

"If you'll excuse me Mama-sama" He bowed respectively and started to make his way to the staffroom on the other side of the bar.

Opening the door he called out, "Ren-chan?"

"Fuuma-oniichan!" An adorable little girl squealed in delight. Ren immediately ran towards Fuuma and hugged him, "Have you come to play with me?"

"Yes I have" Fuuma smiled at her, "What do you want to do today, Ren-chan?"

Ren paused for a moment, thinking hard about her answer. Finally, after making her choice, she looked at Fuuma again and squealed, "I want to play hide and seek!"

**xXxXxXx**

"Thank you Fuuma-san," Ayako, a woman with breathtaking beauty, smiled gratefully while carrying a sleeping Ren, "Thank you so much."

"Don't worry about it" Fuuma replied, "It's always a pleasure to play with Ren-chan"

"But still, thank you. I know I shouldn't bring her but..." Ayako looked at Ren sadly, "She's lonely..."

"I understand" He smiled softly at her.

Ayako's smile widened upon the sight of his smile, "Fuuma-"

"Are you still here?" Striding towards them was Mai who gave an amused look at Ayako, "Go home Ayako"

"But Mama-sama. I have to clean up-"

"Clean?" Mai laughed, "You're our top hostess. You don't need to clean! Beside there's nothing to clean"

"But-"

"Don't worry Ayako" Fuuma reassured her, "Go home."

"Ok...If I must go" She looked around uncertainly.

"Go!" Mai ordered, "You need rest"

"Ok..." Ayako nodded, knowing she was fighting a losing battle. She smiled at Mai as she made her way to the entrance. Before she left however, she quickly glanced at Fuuma. She smiled softly at him before walking out of the door.

Mai noticed Ayako's smile at Fuuma.

"She likes you Fuuma." Mai laughed as she sat down, "I can tell. She smiles more when she's around you"

"...She does? I hadn't noticed" Fuuma replied indifferently.

Mai frowned at the comment, expecting a more exciting response.

"..."

"What do we do now?"

"...Fuuma" Mai smiled wickedly at him, "How're your drinking skills?"

**xXxXxXx**

"Fuuma, isn't this fun?" Mai giggled uncontrollably after finishing her 5th bottle of beer. Fuuma, who was sitting with her, shook his head.

"Mama-sama. You need to slow it down with the alcohol"

"Oh lighten up." Mai responded, "I can handle my drinks, so don't worry"

"Whatever you say, Mama-sama" Fuuma muttered.

Mai rolled her eyes before taking a packet of cigarettes from her bag. Opening the packet she took two out, one for her and the other for Fuuma, "Cigarette?"

"Thanks" Fuuma took the cigarette.

Mai took out her lighter and lit Fuuma's cigarette first before lighting hers. They both took a deep puff before blowing out the smoke simultaneously.

"Fuuma, you're a strange person"

"Strange?" He raised his eyebrow at the comment, "Do you care to explain?"

"Fuuma, you are only 18 years old - yet your eyes reveal wisdom beyond your age. Why is that?"

Blinking in shock at the question, Fuuma hesitantly replied "...Some things are best left unknown"

"Yes, but that doesn't stop me from being curious. You are different Fuuma, from everyone else."

"..."

"Ignore me if you want but I know you can hear me. Before you enter this building, it was a difficult place to work in. After 1999-"Fuuma flinched at the year but Mai did not notice, "Everywhere in Tokyo was left in destruction. I thought there was no hope for us but then you came. And I felt there may be hope after all"

"...Mama-sama"

"Fuuma, you are special. I've seen the way people act around you. They seem happier. For example Ayako. She always kept to herself in all the years I've known her but ever since you came she became more open. More cheerful, like all her troubles are gone."

"...That's just a silly observation. I had nothing to do with it"

"You've had everything to do with it. Its not just Ayako, the girls also react this way too. The girls that work here, most of them have a troubled past full of pain and despair. Before you came, they couldn't let go of the past and it hurt them. It was killing them. But now...after meeting you...they seem to be letting go. They are moving on and I know it has something to do with you"

"If they are moving on, it's because of their strength. I had nothing to do with it"

"...Fine, deny it. I just want to let you know that you are a good person Fuuma."

"..."

"Its amazing that you can help them...But maybe" she mused, "It has something to do with the pain in your eyes-"

"Mama-sama." Fuuma interrupted her, "I don't know what to say but I appreciate it if you don't suggest that I have some hidden pain-"

"Why are you getting irritated then?"

"Because you're being nosy and you keep interrupting. Mama-sama, I am not special. I am just Fuuma Monou."

"Then let me ask you this? Who is Fuuma Monou?"

**xXxXxXx**

As he entered his apartment, Fuuma was grateful to be home.

"Home sweet home"

'_Welcome back Fuuma'_

"I don't need you right now"

'_Why?'_

"No reason"

'_Don't bother lying Fuuma. Its silly lying to me because I already know the answer'_

"..."

'_Did Mai's words scare you? She pretty observant for a human.'_

"I have no idea what you are talking bout. If I was scared of anything it's the idea of me talking to myself."

'_Special huh. I like that word. Better than murderer'_

"Shut up"

'_Am I special Fuuma? Do you think I'm good?'_

"You are nothing"

'_You break my heart...But if I am nothing. What are you?'_

"..."

Fuuma bitterly ate the food in his cupboard, ignoring the voice. He briefly wondered for a moment if he could hypnotize himself to top hearing voices- but brushed the thought off, assuming it was made from his lack of sleep.

'_Go to sleep Fuuma'_

"What part of shut up do you not understand?"

'_I'm just saying. You need all the energy you can get if you want to woo the Sumeragi- although that is highly improbable'_

"Woo? I don't want to woo him. I just want to help him!"

'_Help him to get into your bed.'_

"How dare you say that! I don't want to sleep with him!"

'_Really? That's not how he sees it.'_

"What are you talking about?"

'_Don't tell me you have forgotten the events that occurred last week?"_

"..."

'_Let me refresh your memory. I think it was along the lines of screwing the Sumeragi as hard and as fast as possible- That's putting it bluntly'_

Growling angrily under his breath, Fuuma whispered harshly, "Shut up"

'_Fuuma-kun don't be naïve. Do you think the Sumeragi has forgotten about it? You don't think he remembers how you mercilessly dominated him and crushed his soul into little pieces? How you left him broken and helpless? Do you think he doesn't remember?'_

"That wasn't me"

'_Are you denying it? Fuuma-kun, it was you.'_

"No...It...was you"

'_Me? How can I do anything? I am after all just a voice in your head'_

"You hurt him-"

'_No Fuuma-kun. It was you who hurt him. Who broke him. And you are continuing to hurt him'_

"No, I just want to help him..."

'_Help him? Do you honestly want to help him?'_

"Yes"

'_Why?'_

"Because...I can help"

'_...Fuuma-kun.' _Finally the owner of the voice stepped out of the shadow. Walking towards him, an exact mirror image; was the leader of the Dragon of Earth.

'_How can you help when you're broken yourself?'_

**xXxXxXx**

Gasping for air, Fuuma abruptly woke up. Looking frantically around, he felt his heart beating loudly against his chest. Gripping tightly to his shirt, his breathing softened as he recognized his bedroom. Jumping out of bed he stumbled around the house checking for any signs of him.

There were none.

"A...dream?" He asked himself, "I fell asleep?"

There was no answer.

But... a dream or not, he couldn't help remember what was said.

_/'How can you help when you're broken yourself?'/_

**End of Chapter 3**

**Author's note: **The definition of filler; this chapter. This chapter served no purpose. It was very random. I wrote it because I thought that we should have a break before getting into the bet. I think it came out nicely for something so very random.

I always thought Fuuma was a complicated character and that he wasn't easy to understand. In this chapter it showed that there was indeed a good side to him, his words of helping people wasn't lies. But it also showed a darker side to him. That he is in pain to- maybe that's why he can understand other people pain. That what fuels his desire to help people. 'Dark Fuuma' wasn't what I like him to be. He's calmer than the 1999's personality but I guess it's a sign he admitted defeat. There is no point of killing people anymore- it isn't his destiny anymore. He'll spend his days resting in Fuuma's mind.

(Do you notice I am trying to make sense of something so...random?)

Again it was a random chapter. I realize it doesn't flow well with the previous chapters. I'm always changing my mind, writing things that conflicts with previous chapters and it irritates me /

And strangely my English is getting worst. I can't form sentences properly anymore. The words aren't coming to my head so I tend to repeat the same sentence structure.

There are probably mistakes in here I didn't see when I did my last edit checkup. Please inform me of these mistakes if possible - If there are alot proabbly best just to email them to me )

I still have to correct errors in my past chapter soon. And I need to update my other stories. Well I've decided to finish this story first. Then worry about everything else later.

Thank you again to my beta Marsy-Chan. You're awesome. Words can not express my gratitude.

Again thank you to the reviewers. I don't write for reviews but it is nice to be complimented on my work. Thank you for taking the time to review.

Thank you to the readers. Thank you for using your time to read my story. I apologize again for the lack of updates, my laziness and the bad writing. My English is terrible.

Thank you.


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